I don't really know where to begin. There are so many things I want to mention, but at the same time, I don't have anything really relevant to write here.
Actually something really wonderful happened. Something Maaike is going to be happy about. We went to class, which starts at 7pm, and we had the auditions at 9pm so in the meantime we practiced some of the choreographies. Not many people came to class this time because we were only going to be there for a couple hours so lots of us didn't have our partners for the tango dance.
Well, the girl I mentioned in my previous post (with all the bitterness, and grudge I had) came up to me and suggested we danced together. It was really surprising, and of course, I was my usual self: nice, and focused on doing it well. It was really good because we got to chat, and know each other a little better in terms of our talent.
We practiced a bit of a Shrek choreography and then, all of a sudden, it was 9pm.
I went there with only one thought in my mind: trying to do it the best way possible. And after a couple of friends auditioned it was my turn. I was shaking for moments, but then, when I entered the room...
I felt this confidence reassuring me. It was great, because the nervousness gave way to this sense of standing on my two feet and feeling sure that I wasn't shaking. That just made me control things a little better. Took of my sneakers, went up the stage, and started doing what I had prepared.
I remember that a couple of months ago this would have NEVER happened. Now, I was there, proving myself that I was capable of it. But then my self-judge comes out. I sang, and tried to perform it, but I feel that it looked too rehearsed, and my voice didn't come out naturally. Because of fear, my neck was a little stiff and didn't let the air flow nicely.
BUT WHAT THE HECK?
I was actually able to sing a 1-minute song without shaking, with confidence in me, with something I had rehearsed, trying to include my feelings in it, and keeping the tune.
I am awesome. Next Monday we'll hear back from them.